One year ago today, our lives changed forever.
We were totally unprepared.
Not expecting at all.
It happened in an instant.
We had no idea that from that day forward,
we would be fighting for our daughter’s life.
And in just 17 short days, that we would loose that fight.
That day we were asked to begin a new journey.
A journey that we never would have chosen…
It was a pretty typical day. I dropped Cora off at my mom’s and headed off to Bible Study. She had been having trouble sleeping and was a little grouchy. Those horrible ear infections kept coming back and I was wishing she would just get better. At Bible study I remember sharing my frustrations and asking for prayer for Cora and her doctor’s appointment that afternoon.
Joel had agreed to go to the doctor appointment with me. We wanted to do everything we could to get Cora feeling better. We had no idea that it was so much more than a little ear infection.
I remember sitting in the exam room with Joel and Cora. We were trying to keep our little girl happy as we waited. They had done an x-ray of her abdomen and she did. not. like. it. one. bit. She screamed through the entire thing. We really didn’t expect anything to be horribly wrong. We were just looking for a way to get rid of the ear infections. But as we waited longer and longer, we began to worry. We sensed something might not be okay. Still, “cancer” had never crossed our minds.
Our pediatrician finally came in. I knew the second I saw his face that something was wrong. As he told us that Cora’s liver was enlarged and that it might be the result of cancer, our world as we knew it froze. He was so kind to us. Even prayed with us before sending us out the door. But I was in shock. He had to be wrong. There was no way my beautiful Cora had cancer in her little chubby body.
Joel and I could barely even talk to each other as we drove to the hospital. I remember praying over and over all the way there, “Please let him be wrong. Please let him be wrong. My baby can’t have cancer.”
But as we know, he wasn’t wrong. Late that night our worst fears were confirmed. The next day we would be asked to hand our sweet daughter over for surgery. And from that moment on our world was rocked to the core. We went from a “normal” family to living in the hospital and struggling to battle Cora’s cancer in an instant. We were asked to trust God with our daughter’s life. We were asked to trust God in a way that we never had before.
As I think about that day and the 17 days that followed, my stomach just aches. I don’t even know how to describe our time in the hospital except horrible and terrifying. It was the worst thing to watch Cora go through everything she did and not be able to do anything to help her. Like I said, it is hard to even put it into words. Yet at the same time we experienced God’s incredible comfort through the wonderful hospital staff, family and friends in a way that we never have experienced before. It was amazing.
So many people have told us that we are handling this past year of suffering incredibly. That they would not be able to handle what we have gone through. Like we are “gifted” at facing difficulties. We are not. In fact, before Cora got sick, I would have said the same thing. I would have said there is no way I could handle watching my daughter battle cancer. Or worse yet having to say goodbye to my daughter. I would have told you I couldn’t do it.
When we were in the hospital I remember people telling us that God’s grace is sufficient. Those words seemed so trite to me considering what we were going through. But, through this year we have found that God’s grace is truly sufficient. It is that simple. It doesn’t mean that facing suffering is easy or that it doesn’t cause pain, even deep pain. But it is true. When we face something that seems impossible to live through, or even when we face something that seems relatively insignificant, we can be confident that He cares. He will provide just what we need to get through whatever we are facing. His grace is sufficient. My family is living proof of that!
So as we enter this time of “anniversaries” and remember what we were facing at this time last year, and what we continue to face every day, I need to remind myself again. His grace is sufficient.
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:8
Sarah - we will be praying…
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Anonymous - You continue to amaze me..I have and will continue to pray for Calla…and will eagerly be waiting to enter 🙂
Kim
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Jen - what a great idea.
I clicked right over to meet Calla the last time you introduced her to us and what a testimony her family is.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
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The Moffats - LOVE IT 🙂 And love YOU for putting it together.
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Lara - You truly inspire me. I have read your blog and found Julie’s through yours and have been following the progress of little Calla. I am so glad you are doing this! You will be blessed..
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Heather at All A Flutter - This is a wonderful idea!
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Beki - TheRustedChain - We’ve been praying for Calla.
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The Sieberts - awesome idea Jess! you have such a good heart. We are praying for Calla as well…
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Sara - My little sister recently had a baby boy, who was born at 27 weeks, and lived inside her without any fluid (a hole was torn in her placenta, due to a bloodclot that kept returning). When he was born the doctors told us there was no way he would survive. They told her to prepare herself. They told her if he did survive, he would be so damaged, there would be no quality of life. After a long struggle, of being told this every time something would happen, he lived. And, he just celebrated his first birthday. While, he has some physical problems (nothing that can’t be fixed) he is an absolute happy, joyful baby, and I have no doubts that he will be fine. I know what a rollercoaster that is. I watched my sister and her husband go through that, and it is heartwrenching. But, he survived. Even though the dr’s kept saying he wouldn’t. He did. And, quality of life, he’s got a great one. I have never seen such a happy little boy. I will pray for him, and his parents and family too. Such a sweet thing to do.
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Kristi REDISKE - I have already been praying-what a great idea-God Bless You all!
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Mindy M. Harris - Cool, I can’t wait to enter. You are such a great friend and your obedience to the Lord’s whisperings is clear.
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Karina - What a wonderful way to use Cora’s. I will look for that button tomorrow!
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The Schilling's from Cimarron - Your Awesome for doing this! Once again you are soooo giving and thoughtful! miss you lots and have been thinking about our time a year ago together!
Give little Mr. Levi and big kiss on those chunkkkyyy cheeks for us! Hope to see you soon!
love always!
AMIE
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Tricia - What a sweet gesture for your dear friends. I will be looking forward to helping.
With love and prayers,
XO*Tricia
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Amy - Such a great idea, Jess. Julie is blessed to have a friend like you. I can’t wait to see what you’re offering. I think Miss Gretchen needs a Cora dress. 🙂
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Rebecca Zwirlein - This is an absolutely wonderful thing you are doing for sweet Calla and her family. I look forward to donating tomorrow. Thank you for continuing to be an encouragement and an inspiration to others! You ROCK!
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Mrs. Dunbar - Will be praying and looking forward to helping Calla’s family.
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Christina - You are a sweet friend. I have been and will be praying for them!
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Amanda - This comment has been removed by the author.
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kaylin rose and mara anne - love it and i am praying…thank you for putting this together.
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Anonymous - http://dungan.blogspot.com/
very interesting post about screening in neuroblastoma and how it doesn’t work. When God has a plan, he has a plan.
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McArthur - Thank you for sharing – we will be praying.
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Heidi - Very sweet Jess! It’s amazing to me, that you are always able to turn your sorrow into giving! It is such a great example of a Christian woman! I have been praying for Calla. I do have an etsy shop, but currently am fighting breast cancer and not feeling too great. My shop is just kind of sitting there. Levi is beautiful! I had a premie born at 30 weeks and now he is 14 turning 15 Feb 26th, is super handsome, gets straight a’s, and was voted most likely to be an olympic athlete in his 8th grade class! So God can heal these pre mature babies! They are so incredibly strong! I will keep praying for all of you! Heidi Outre Beauty Bistro
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Anonymous - You and your family are a true inspiration. Praying for your family and praying for Calla!
Karahannumlewis@yahoo.com
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